Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
