So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i will never coherently bang her
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
