We're facebook friends in real life
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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