Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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