Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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