u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
