Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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