Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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