i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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