It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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