Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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