Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize