You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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