Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
