Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
