just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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