I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
