I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
