he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
