I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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