there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize