Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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