i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
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