Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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