we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she peed on how many people?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize