Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
