so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
