What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
