I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
