my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
