In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
