i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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