the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
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thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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