And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
