clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
