on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
