hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
