so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
