well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
