Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
