FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
