No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
