They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
