lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
