Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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