Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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