worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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