just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Did I show you my penis last night?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
