you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize