so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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