Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
