Swine flu. Run for my life!
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
