I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
