That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize