She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
If I had your ass I would rule the world
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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