I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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