the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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