There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
