Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
