Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
