Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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